Martha Stewart knows her meatballs

How do you get your meatballs to blip the radar of Martha Stewart?
She told a recent studio audience that she sent her staff members out and about in New York to taste a basket of meatballs all over the city and report back.
But you don't get meatballs on the Martha Stewart Show solely on the vote of a Stewart staffer.
Ms. Stewart - may I call you Martha? - says she sampled the finalists to select several chefs to prepare their signature meatballs on a show in January.
Good day for me to be in the audience during a recent trip to Manhattan.
We tasted chicken meatballs spiced to present a forkable alternative to the finger licking that accompanies the traditional buffalo wing.
We tasted a family recipe that was nearly as big as a baseball and we tasted a ball with scrumptious cheese injected. OMG. There were no losers.
Sitting in the studio audience of the Martha Stewart Show was a guilty pleasure. I have not an ounce of craftiness in my body. I don't sew. I have no eye for color and design. I can prepare a couple of dinner dishes with limited confidence.
In short, I'm not Martha Stewart.
But darn it, I like her. I like that she is strong and talented and determined and independent and she takes charge and she accepts responsibility.
So, I signed up for a ticket. Easy enough to get. Go to her website - where you also will find information on her new ReMarthable giveaway.
And fill out not just a request but a section about yourself. It's the place the Martha faithful can list their special Martha-esque talents and interests. Despite my lack of any Marthaisms to recount, my ticket request was accepted.
Then a few days later came an e-mail with just a few little instructions. Wear bright colors. Martha likes bright colors, the Audience e-mail confides. OK. Jewel tones. OK. And be on time - which is nearly two hours before showtime. OK. And no photos during filming. OK. And don't haul in your luggage. Ah, those pesky tourists.
What did I learn about Martha Stewart during my few hours in her New York studio? No secrets. No revelations. Just the no-nonsense, all-business Martha Stewart we all see every day.
And that's what I came for. That and the meatballs.
And a cookbook. And a can of olive oil I wasn't sure I could get home in my checked travel bag. But I did.
Nothing short of ReMarthable.